Loaves and Fishes and $20 Bills

During these tough economic times, trust for what we need often gets lost in the muddle of “what if’s” that the enemy assaults us with. As Christmas nears, and with an overstretched budget, the recalling of this life’s lesson comforts me and strengthens my trust in God’s provision. The story is from 1992, but its message is timely. It’s starts with a young man's testimony:

"When the Lord called me to Hawaii, I was a bit frightened. I had never faced a challenge like this before -- coming half way around the world to learn how to better serve Him. But I gave my Him my heart, so I came. In just a few weeks, I return to Africa and will give Him my life."

A quiet, persistent thought jumped into my mind as I listened to this young West African's testimony, "Give him $100, and tell him it is for him, not his school fees."

Following a round of applause, our Youth With A Mission (YWAM) leader asked us to prayerfully consider donating toward the young man's outstanding course fees. Knowing our similar circumstances, he encouraged, "Give what God leads, for He can multiply your gift many times, just as Jesus multiplied a loaf of bread and a few fishes to feed thousands."

"Give him $100," the inner voice persisted.

"Lord, is this really you?" I inwardly queried, my eyes widening, my heart racing. I knew about loaves and fishes, but I couldn't relate Jesus' miracles to my life, especially when finances were involved. Although by worldly standards $100 is not a great amount, it was about all I had to last me through my own mission studies.

After more than a decade in print journalism, there I was sitting in a Hawaiian classroom, facing up to what it takes to be God's intermediary. This sudden demand upon my finances caused me to wonder just how I came to be here.

The seed of missions was planted in my mind at the tender age of 10 when my friend and I cornered two girls who were fighting and gave them a lecture about love that, I have to admit, was less than loving.

"Stop it! Don't you know that God loves both of you, and that Jesus says fighting is wrong!" we knowingly shouted at our captives, who immediately tossed in their towels more out of fear than of conscience. Their capitulation was a heady outcome for two budding emissaries for God.

More than three decades later, as it had many times throughout my life, the urge to do more for God and a lot less for me resurfaced. But after years of struggling financially to raise two children on my own and to establish my journalism career, I was reluctant to give up the high wages now within my professional reach.

A year of prayer and soul-searching fueled my leap of faith, and I was finally on my way. But niggling doubts about money clouded my missions entry. I had yet to fully embrace God's banking system of giving and receiving.

"Give him $100 ... ," again came the inner voice. Nervously I approached the young man, fully intending to follow through with God's instruction. Once face to face, I mumbled some platitude for his faithfulness, turned and fled.

Faith-stretching is never fun. I desperately wanted to believe that my entry into missions would safeguard my future from the unwelcome hardships and obligations that had peppered my adult life. But I had more to endure to strengthen my character and prepare me for ministry.

Makapala offered me sunny days, palm trees, gorgeous beaches, chocolate macadamia nut coffee, fellowship and friends. Dollars and dimes were not items I wanted to contend with, but again came that quiet inner voice, "Give ... ."

So I prayed -- for confirmation, for more faith, for God to provide "just enough money to get me home." Then I turned over $100 to the young West African and, with $20 left, my next two weeks to God. As clearly as the call to give, I knew God was about to teach me His truth about loaves, fishes and $20 bills.

I carefully hoarded my funds until a few days before leaving for home when a friend telephoned, "Can you come to Kona this weekend?" Sandy and her husband Scott play key roles in YWAM's University of the Nations communications department. This meeting was important to my future ministry.

"Sure," I answered somewhat apprehensively. Traveling to Kona from the other side of the island would put a significant dent in my remaining funds.

My first dip into the twenty came when a friend asked me to breakfast on our way to the Kona campus. I chose the least expensive item on the menu, still a whopping $8. Then, with a little guilt at having spent more on breakfast, I deposited $5 into the collection plate at church.

At lunch at the YWAM base, Scott asked if anyone could lend him $5 for an immediate ministry need. Gulping, I inwardly heard, "Give ...." Now I was down to $2. Not five minutes had passed when Scott's friend came over to repay a debt of $10. Scott promptly gave the money to me, saying, "A lesson on how God multiplies."

With $12 in hand, I later saw a few classmates off to the Philippines. At the airport, God told me to give one classmate $5 and the message, "Let your needs be known when this is gone."

Good advice, I thought, and confided my need to another classmate. Grinning, she handed me a card with $20, a gift she was saving for my departure.

"Amazing, this provision of God's," I thought, feeling uplifted and a little embarrassed.

Arriving at the Honolulu Airport the following day, I faced a three-hour flight delay. Again God provided -- $15 dinner chits!

Hours later, I arrived in San Francisco with $27 in pocket. My sister picked me up, so I paid for parking fees and gas to get us to her home in Salinas. Down to $15.

My son came to my sister's to escort me home, and we ate dinner. Down to $6. Then came a crucial telephone call. My brother, who had been waiting for a liver transplant, was finally getting his chance -- the next day. Sometimes I drop loose coins into my purse, so I searched and found an unexpected, much-needed $20 someone had tucked into a pocket. Up to $26.

Breakfast at the hospital. Down to $20.

Lunch on my sister-in-law. Dinner on my sister. My son visited a friend with my car, reducing parking fees. Still, down to $18.

Overnight in a hospital lounge for all of our family -- free. Praise God!

"Buy breakfast for everyone," came the inner voice again. What's inexpensive for eight people? Donuts! Down to $15.

My brother's surgery went well, and with $15, my son and I headed home.

Parking fees, $14.

Toll booth? You guessed it. $1.

God not only multiplied every one of those original 20 dollars that I thought I needed, but in answer to my prayer, gave me "just enough to see me home."

When I entered YWAM ministry, I had enough funds to last three months. God saw me through six years. Oh, I can’t say it wasn’t tough, but there always seemed to be “just enough.” God faithfully filled in the blanks with “creative finances” – services traded, dinner invitations, house sitting, even envelopes with $20 tucked in from time to time.

As Philippians 4:19 tells us, God shall supply all our needs, "according to His riches in glory by Jesus Christ." Trading my last shred of independence for interdependence with Christ freed me to serve Him with all my heart, mind, soul, abilities and finances.

Several weeks after my return home from Hawaii, I received a letter from the young West African: "Thank you so much for your generous gift ... God faithfully provided me with funds to cover my schooling, but your $100 was just enough money to get me home."

I wasn't surprised!

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Dear Lord,

Please meet the needs of everyone who is struggling financially this holiday season. We know that your "bank" has endless funds for those who give their trust and their lives to you. Help us to remember that you are our provider -- and help us to hear your inner voice when you ask us to give our "$20" to someone else in need, even when we need ourselves. We are not in the "earn and spend" banking of the world, but your "give and receive." Your timing is perfect, and we give glory to you now for all you will do!

Amen.